Rule Number 10: Never Give Cloud Chocolate
by Enlightened-darkness
Summary: Oneshot. “And rule number ten… never, and I mean never give Cloud chocolate.” All up until this: rule number ten, the rule, which to Leon at least did not make any sense... Poor Leon didn't see it coming. Yaoi CLC


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy/Kingdom hearts Characters and also credit to ****XxRoadKillxX**** for her inspiration about Cloud's weakness**

**

* * *

**

**Rule Number Ten: Never give Cloud chocolate.**

"And rule number ten… never, and I mean never give Cloud chocolate."

"Excuse me?" Leon snapped out of his brooding state to stare at the flower girl who had been lecturing Yuffie on looking after the injured Cloud while she and Tifa were away.

The rules that Aerith had given so far had all seemed to be common sense, which Yuffie was slightly lacking in. Entailing simple ideas such as- don't annoy Cloud when he's in a bad mood or make sure his bandages get changed twice a day. All up until this: rule number ten, the rule, which to Leon at least did not make any sense.

Cloud was injured and one of her rules was not to give him chocolate?

"Oh everyone knows that!" Yuffie said exasperatedly the wide grin on her face clearly showing the advantage she was planning to take over the fact that, for once the ninja knew something that Leon obviously didn't.

Glaring at Yuffie the brunet turned to Aerith and smiled, "Why can't we give Cloud chocolate?"

"For the general health of all those within a hundred metres, just never try it," Tifa said from her corner, "Last time he had chocolate it was Reno's fault. Fortunately for us Reno dealt with him."

"Of course he did!" Yuffie grinned, "He's so kinky that I'm surprised he didn't start feeding it to Cloud every time he saw him."

"He wouldn't have dared, I'd have beat him up if he tried," Tifa cracked her knuckles threateningly causing the other women to giggle loudly.

The storm eyed Restoration Leader was only further confused, "Am I missing something? Why can't you give Cloud chocolate?"

Aerith managed to straighten her face long enough to explain, "You know that Cloud has mako enhancements right? They make him stronger-"

"Of course, but what has that got to do-"

"Let her finish, Squally."

"That's Leon."

The Healer rolled her eyes but continued anyway, "The mako enhances other responses too. Certain foodstuffs are more... potent than others. For example it only takes Cloud one cup of coffee to wake up when it can take even Yuffie two. It has a more powerful effect."

"So chocolate makes him wake up?"

"Yes and no. The most overwhelming thing about chocolate is that it has a naturally built in aphrodisiac, and that enhanced-" Leon's eyes went wide, "Is not a good thing for anyone in the vicinity that wants to keep their virginity. Cloud naturally doesn't believe us when tell him, he doesn't remember when he wakes up in what is usually in a state much like a hangover."

"So whenever he wakes up he thinks he's been drunk?"

"Yup," laughed Yuffie a wide grin on her face, "He thought our red-headed friend took advantage of him."

"I haven't laughed so hard since," Tifa sang wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, "Cloud nearly threw him through the wall, even though Reno was already injured. He couldn't walk straight for weeks!"

The Restoration Leader just shook his head at the women's antics and left, taking his gunblade with him thinking to do something along the lines of training or heartless elimination. Three sets of eyes just watched him go, suddenly thoughtful.

"I'm tempted just to give Cloud chocolate and lock him in a room with Leon just so those two will stop being so stubborn and admit that they like each other."

Tifa cocked her head slightly and a mischievous grin was set on her face. "That's not such a bad idea; but it cannot be one of who give it to him though. That would be too suspicious; we need someone who can't know any better."

Then as if by the purest of luck the door was flung open and the spiky haired Keyblader paraded in accompanied by duck and dog. "Hey guys have you seen Lee... what are you looking at me like that for?" he asked, noticing the women whose evil malicious smiles had increased tenfold from when he had first come in.

"I think we found our man."

* * *

After killing a few hundred heartless (hey who is counting?) Leon finally decided to return to base as surely the girls would have gotten over the earlier incident by now. Wishful thinking for the brunet, he knew, but as Aerith and Tifa were probably leaving soon he felt obligated to at least say goodbye, no matter how uncomfortable it may be because of earlier conversations. 

It was undeniable that there was an attraction between the Restoration Leader and the blond in question. Something in the playful banter and the way that they brushed past each other that clearly toed the line between friends and more-than-friends. Even Leon could see that he responded differently to the other warrior than anyone else in the Restoration Committee.

As he walked around the last corner he was greeted with the sight of Cloud, looking a lot better than when he last saw him, bloodied and bruised from his fight with Sephiroth. Though he had to notice the slight bulkiness around Cloud's middle showing the ever present bandages that lay beneath the black material.

Out of nowhere, before Leon could take another step bounded Sora one of his trademark grins set on his face shining blindingly bright and dumbfounding people who were in the surrounding area.

Seemingly not noticing the approaching Gunblade wielder he presented a very suspicious package to the blond who smiled before taking some and placing it in his mouth. The spiky haired brunet smiled and beckoned Leon over, "Hiya Leon! I was looking for you."

"What for?"

"To say hello," the bright blue eyes insisted innocently, "I wasn't going to come here and not make sure I'd seen everyone before I took off again! Want some chocolate? I brought it from Destiny Islands. Best ever!"

The older brunet did a double check, looking from Cloud to Sora to the offered gift. "You gave Cloud some didn't you?"

"Yeah, he's my friend too!" The Gunblader winced. "What's wrong?"

"Run. Get Aerith or someone fast."

"Why?"

"Just do it."The Restoration Leader growled and Sora shrugging tore off. Alone Leon turned to Cloud... or to where Cloud had been.

This could not be good... just do not panic, he reminded himself. There is a crazy sex fiend loose and you want me not to panic, a voice inside chided.

The brunet yelped loudly when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind with an iron grip.

"Now, now Leon, what a good boy you've been sending Sora off so I can have you all to myself," The blond purred in one ear sending shivers down the brunet's sides. As hard as it was to admit, he was damn scared of the blond, especially in a state such as this. For one, the blond was enhanced and therefore stronger and, while he was younger than the Restoration Leader, one look in those currently very hungry looking eyes would be enough to send even Sephiroth packing.

"Cloud listen you need to calm down," the prisoner gulped loudly, "You are under the control of chocolate and are not thinking straight."

"Mmm," the blond replied easily tossing the brunet who had not been suspecting such a move, over his shoulder, "I don't think so."

"Cloud put me down!!" the brunet yelled squirming to no avail, "Help! Anyone!"

Either there was no one to hear his yells or they too were too scared to approach lest Cloud's attention turn on them, who could save the man now.

* * *

"I still don't understand why you wanted me to give him chocolate." 

"You are so naïve, Sora," Tifa sighed, watching Cloud haul Leon away from the top of the Borough, "Just, let's say you were helping two stubborn men pull their act together."

Sora raised an eyebrow but gave in, "I will never understand women."

"Very few men ever do."

* * *

Hours later, Cloud rolled over and groaned. It felt strangely as if his brain had been run over by a bulldozer and then stabbed several times by Sephiroth, the headache so severe it made his other injuries feel like child's play. 

Then again, the thought sleepily there was the added bonus of the extra warmth beside him that seemed to at least ease the pain at least a little,

Wait a second...

Added warmth?

Mako blue eyes opened to a much debilitated Leon who was eyeing him with scepticism in his eyes. This may have had something to do with the death grip that Cloud had on the brunet's arm, but I digress.

"What happened?"

"Sora gave you chocolate."

The blond sent him a disbelieving look back, "Right and chocolate turns me into a horny monster, right? Not buying it."

"Do you think I would have initiated this?" The stare that the Restoration Leader sent him was enough to answer that question for him; he could not imagine the stoic man doing anything like this of his own will. He knew he wouldn't because he had been trying for months to gauge the best way to approach the man himself after being sure Leon would never willingly open up like that.

"Well, no... but, ugh," Cloud buried his face between Leon's arm, still captive much to its owner's disdain, with a loud groan. "Fine... okay, maybe it's plausible that chocolate turns me into a sex fiend."

"Plausible isn't good enough Cloud... Plausible does not explain why I'm not going to be able to walk properly for a week!"

"Is sorry enough?"

"Fine, but next time," Leon smirked down at the blond who seemed to be trying to bury his way to china via his blankets, "I'm topping."

Cloud looked up, grinning with unexpected enthusiasm for one whose headache was about to send him reeling again, "Looking forward to it."


End file.
